Raising respectful boys (and girls).

Recent events have me thinking especially hard about how to teach my children about sexual misconduct and overall respect for others. Not that these scenarios haven’t been in the news before, the issue of sexual harassment is as old as time. My first encounter with the term was when Anita Hill came forward to accuse now supreme court member, Clarence Thomas, of committing sexual harassment against her. It was a huge story back in 1991 and was a groundbreaking moment for women everywhere who finally felt empowered to come forward and speak. Whether you believe Anita’s story or not, that she came forward about such a controversial issue that had not been given much attention before gave others the sense that they could come forward as well.

I am the mother of three young boys, so it’s especially important to me to raise them with the knowledge that they must treat women with respect and dignity. Not to say that girls are off the hook either, as I point out in the title, girls need to be taught these things as well. Women and girls can often be responsible for “slut shaming” or spreading rumors about other females that they don’t like or are jealous of, we need to teach them that this is not ok and that they should treat one another the way they want to be treated. Do not make up stories or spread rumors about someone because your are jealous or competitive. Teach your girls confidence so they don’t feel the need to put others down in order to feel good about themselves. Celebrate each others beauty and accomplishments instead of tearing them down. This is not only the right thing to do, but will result in others feeling more inclined to celebrate them and lift them up instead of tearing them down.

Now I am certainly not the authority on how to teach your children respect and kindness but I do have a few ideas that could be helpful. Please share yours with us!

1. Showing your partner respect. The best way to show your sons and daughters how to treat the opposite sex is to treat your partner (if they are the opposite sex) with kindness and love.
2. Teaching them a sense of responsibility for their actions. When you see them mistreating one another or someone else make sure to correct this behavior. Even if it seems that the other party may be partially at fault it’s important they know it “takes two to tango”.
3. Simply talking to them about what it means to be respectful. I found this definition of the word at talkingtreebooks.com and the site also has some ideas on how to teach the concept to children.

Showing respect to someone means you act in a way that shows you care about their feelings and well-being.

Last but certainly not  least, the best way to teach respect is to show respect, so treat your children with the same respect and kindness you expect from them.

xo,

Hil

 

3 tips to start your weekend off right.

Happy Friday everyone! In many people’s minds the weekend is time to party. And that’s ok, you should relax and let loose a little. But if you want to achieve your physical, mental and life goals, you can’t take too long of a break. I know it’s hard to hear but if you are a person that craves a great body, mind, spirit… the work doesn’t stop for very long. I’m in pretty good shape but every day something taps me on the shoulder and says “when are you going to workout?”. I of course take days off, but always have a plan in the back of my mind to get back at it.

Here are my 3 tips for staying on track with your health and wellness goals (or getting on track depending on your circumstances) this weekend.

1. Plan your workouts. It doesn’t have to be a trip to the gym. If it’s family time you crave plan a hike, a bike ride or to play a little football with the kiddos. But start thinking about it now and make a plan to get some good exercise in this weekend.
2. Plan your diet. The weekends are a really tough time to stay on track nutritionally. It’s ok to indulge a little but have a general plan for what you will eat, when and how much. Think lots of vegetables, maybe some fish… if you want some tips email me.
3. Do not drink too much!!! This is where many people fail. I know it’s been a long hard week of work and taking care of family but don’t take it out at the bar room. A drink or two is fine, but you will inevitably fall of the health, wellness and success wagon if you drink too much. Most of us know the consequences of this: extreme fatigue, sickness and eating anything in site to feel better. Anxiety is also a big side effect of boozing. Besides, do you want to be hung over playing with your children on Saturday and Sunday?

What are your tips for a great weekend?

xo,

Hil

The only parenting advice I give.

I often get asked what is the best advice I can give to new parents. Having three kids I consider myself someone of a veteran at parenting, although admittedly far from perfect. But I have been through a lot with my boys, from babies to grade schoolers, so have some wisdom that I believe is helpful.

What is the one tip I give anyone who is embarking on the crazy path of parenthood?

Tell  your kids you love them of everyday and schedule one or two times during the day that are just for you and them. 

Believe it or not, even when you’re a SAHM (or maybe especially when you are) it’s very difficult to have quality time with your children. I’m talking about time that you aren’t distracted by a thousand other things that need to happen in your life and are just focused on them.

Find time in your day that is just for you and the kids, for me this came about pretty organically. The first year or two of my first born’s life, I felt like I was just haphazardly getting through the day and not having any real quality time with him. Finally as he got older I started bed time stories. This takes time as when they’re babies they aren’t going to sit with you and read a book. But once they do it’s such a lovely experience to share with them. I also find that we have some good talks after reading for a bit. We lie in bed and they tell me about their day or maybe go on and on about some new game they’re into (Minecraft anyone??). Night is a good time to do this as I find I’m more relaxed, the day is through and it’s easier to concentrate on whatever it is they want to talk about.

The second time I schedule with my kids, although not always successful depending on how the morning goes, is breakfast. It’s a great way to start off our day. Since the craziness of the day hasn’t quite begun we are able to enjoy some time and conversation together, and often have a few laughs.

What’s your best parenting advice? And what time do you enjoy most with your kids?

XO,

Hilary

 

Things that surprised me about pregnancy.

My third son Tommy is going to be 10 months old in a few days, I can’t believe how fast the time has flown and that I was pregnant with that little nugget not even a year ago.

I’ve been reflecting on pregnancy lately and what an extraordinary experience it is. I’ve also been thinking about all the things I didn’t know about being pregnant until I actually went through it. I didn’t know much, and anything I thought I knew about came from movies and television shows which pretty much get it all wrong. If this is your first go round with this crazy, exhausting and incredibly special experience, here are a few things that may surprise you.

1. Morning sickness, or for many women all day sickness, usually lasts only the first trimester and many women don’t get sick at all.
2. Fatigue is many women’s worst complaint. I was so tired during my first pregnancy I would go into the bathroom at my job, lay my head on the toilet paper roll and sleep during my lunch breaks.
3. Your baby bump won’t come in until about 5 months so don’t rush out to buy maternity clothes.
4. Everyone wants to tell you their horror story about pregnancy and delivery. Don’t listen to them, everyone’s experience is different and you need to ignore the negative talk. Going into delivery with a good attitude is so important and you’ll get through it with the help of some great doctors, nurses and family members at your side.
5. Watch what you eat. I thought pregnancy was a license to eat whatever I wanted. Turns out our bodies need to make 2 to 3 times the amount of insulin it takes to properly digest sugar than when we’re not pregnant making you susceptible to gestational diabetes. This goes away after pregnancy but come with many risks such as a very large newborn.
6. Contractions feel like menstrual cramps and don’t start off that painful.
7. Labor pains can start weeks in advance to actual labor and delivery. These can get quite annoying and even keep you up at night.
8. It’s very unlikely that your water will break in public. I thought it was like the movies, a women screams that her water has broken and they rush her to the hospital. Not so much. You will likely be in labor for some time and be at the hospital before your water breaks.
9. Core muscles push the baby out so do your planks!
10. Recovering after delivery. No one tells you that you can’t do much walking and have to wear maxi pads the size of Texas for weeks after giving birth. I guess it should be sort of obvious that pushing a small human out of that tiny orifice would cause some bleeding but I didn’t know this until it happened. You can’t do much for two weeks in order for the wounds to heal and even then you need to be careful or they could open again. So take your time, I know it’s hard if you’re normally very active. By six weeks you should get the go ahead by your doctor to workout like normal again.
11. The duration of pregnancy is 10 months not 9.
12. Last but not least, I didn’t expect to feel as beautiful as I did and my husband  ensured that I felt beautiful by telling me that every day.

What about pregnancy surprised you most (bad or good)?

Thanks for stopping by!

xo,

Hilary

Post Baby Abs

Getting your abs back to normal post baby is a challenge, for many reasons. First off, you just had a baby and probably feel like shit. But mainly, your body just went through 9 months of transformation and then a small person came out of your lady parts! The last thing you need to worry about for at least 6 weeks postpartum is getting your stomach back in shape.

Another consideration is that lots of women suffer from Diastasis Recti.

“Diastasis recti” means your belly sticks out because the space between your left and right belly muscles has widened. You might call it a “pooch.” – WebMD

Diastasis Recti, or the gap between your stomach muscles caused by the expansion of your stomach throughout pregnancy, makes it much harder to get your belly back in shape. This is because you need to first fix this gap before going on to more intense ab workouts that will really help tone your stomach.

Don’t fret, use this time to relax and enjoy being a mom and when you’re ready to get back to more intense working out you’ll know. Don’t try to do anything to hard before you are ready, this will only lead to a longer recovery and possible injury.

Here are a few exercises you can do postpartum to help pull those belly muscles back together. I also have a video up on YouTube you can check out here.

1. Wall sit. Do this for 10 seconds for 3 rounds.

2. Wall planks. Hold for 20 seconds. This is done so you’re leaning against the wall, then tilt side to side as if you’re doing a side plank.

3. Wide leg squat. Try and hold for 30 seconds. This is a great way to boost energy as well as tighten your core.

Do you have experience with Diastasis Recti? If so do you have any recommendation you can share with us?

xo,

Hil

Practicing gratitude toward yourself.

I read this article yesterday on embracing your body and loving yourself just the way you are. We expect so much from ourselves and others. Often we want others to love us “just the way we are” but have trouble loving everything about ourselves, including our imperfections. We put ourselves down, body and soul. It’s human nature to be hardest on oneself which serves the purpose of helping us to be better people. But, as important as it is to try to be better, it’s equally important to love yourself.

The biggest inspiration for me to love myself and be confident in who I am is my children. I think about what I want for them and how I want them to feel. More than anything, I want them to have the utmost appreciation for who they are, where they come from, what they have to offer the world and most of all, to be confident. In order to teach them to be this way I realize I need to practice these skills myself.

A good way to kick off your day with confidence is to take a few minutes to appreciate YOU, body, mind and soul. Here are some mantras you can say to yourself when you wake up in the morning to kick-start your day with confidence:

1. I am enough.  I do enough,  I have enough.
2. I love myself. I am a beautiful, unique spirit. There is no one else quite like me.
3. I let my happiness be visible to others. My happiness overflows from me. I can use my happiness to bring joy to others.
4. I thank my body for taking such good care of me today. It is perfect and takes such good care of me.
5. My body is a gift and I love and appreciate it just the way it is.

How do you practice appreciating yourself?

xo,

Hil

 

Healthy snack ideas to help you stay on track with your diet…

This is a picture of some healthy snacks I picked up this weekend. I wanted to be sure that I have enough healthy snacks in my house so I don’t either snack too much on unhealthy foods or too little on healthy ones. Over snacking on unhealthy foods is bad for obvious reasons but why is it bad to “under snack”? First, snacking is good because it keeps your metabolism going. Second, if you turn up to a meal “over” hungry you will eat too much. I know because I do it all the time! Part of my battle the next 8 weeks is coming up with snacks that are both satisfying, healthy and easy. I’m constantly on the go, as a mom with 2 kids and multiple activities going at all times, I need some quick and easy options. I’m sure a lot of you can relate even if you don’t have children yet.

Here is a list of easy snacks that are satisfying and healthy…

– Fruit. Pretty obvious, but fruit can be more delicious than candy if you get what’s in season and try to by organic. Ask your local grocer what fruits taste especially good right now and they will tell you.

– Vegetables. I love baby carrots, peppers, broccoli etc. Dip them in a low-calorie dressing and they taste delicious.

– Toast and all natural preserves or peanut butter.

– Greek yogurt. I love Fage for the taste and it has less sugar than most yogurt.

– Almonds mixed with dried cranberries. Great for satisfying that sweet and salty craving.

– Humus and pita.

-Avocado and tomatoes with a drizzle of olive oil, salt and pepper.

What other healthy snack ideas can you share with us?

Xx,

Hilary Ann Lambert