Raising respectful boys (and girls).

Recent events have me thinking especially hard about how to teach my children about sexual misconduct and overall respect for others. Not that these scenarios haven’t been in the news before, the issue of sexual harassment is as old as time. My first encounter with the term was when Anita Hill came forward to accuse now supreme court member, Clarence Thomas, of committing sexual harassment against her. It was a huge story back in 1991 and was a groundbreaking moment for women everywhere who finally felt empowered to come forward and speak. Whether you believe Anita’s story or not, that she came forward about such a controversial issue that had not been given much attention before gave others the sense that they could come forward as well.

I am the mother of three young boys, so it’s especially important to me to raise them with the knowledge that they must treat women with respect and dignity. Not to say that girls are off the hook either, as I point out in the title, girls need to be taught these things as well. Women and girls can often be responsible for “slut shaming” or spreading rumors about other females that they don’t like or are jealous of, we need to teach them that this is not ok and that they should treat one another the way they want to be treated. Do not make up stories or spread rumors about someone because your are jealous or competitive. Teach your girls confidence so they don’t feel the need to put others down in order to feel good about themselves. Celebrate each others beauty and accomplishments instead of tearing them down. This is not only the right thing to do, but will result in others feeling more inclined to celebrate them and lift them up instead of tearing them down.

Now I am certainly not the authority on how to teach your children respect and kindness but I do have a few ideas that could be helpful. Please share yours with us!

1. Showing your partner respect. The best way to show your sons and daughters how to treat the opposite sex is to treat your partner (if they are the opposite sex) with kindness and love.
2. Teaching them a sense of responsibility for their actions. When you see them mistreating one another or someone else make sure to correct this behavior. Even if it seems that the other party may be partially at fault it’s important they know it “takes two to tango”.
3. Simply talking to them about what it means to be respectful. I found this definition of the word at talkingtreebooks.com and the site also has some ideas on how to teach the concept to children.

Showing respect to someone means you act in a way that shows you care about their feelings and well-being.

Last but certainly not  least, the best way to teach respect is to show respect, so treat your children with the same respect and kindness you expect from them.

xo,

Hil

 

Practicing gratitude toward yourself.

I read this article yesterday on embracing your body and loving yourself just the way you are. We expect so much from ourselves and others. Often we want others to love us “just the way we are” but have trouble loving everything about ourselves, including our imperfections. We put ourselves down, body and soul. It’s human nature to be hardest on oneself which serves the purpose of helping us to be better people. But, as important as it is to try to be better, it’s equally important to love yourself.

The biggest inspiration for me to love myself and be confident in who I am is my children. I think about what I want for them and how I want them to feel. More than anything, I want them to have the utmost appreciation for who they are, where they come from, what they have to offer the world and most of all, to be confident. In order to teach them to be this way I realize I need to practice these skills myself.

A good way to kick off your day with confidence is to take a few minutes to appreciate YOU, body, mind and soul. Here are some mantras you can say to yourself when you wake up in the morning to kick-start your day with confidence:

1. I am enough.  I do enough,  I have enough.
2. I love myself. I am a beautiful, unique spirit. There is no one else quite like me.
3. I let my happiness be visible to others. My happiness overflows from me. I can use my happiness to bring joy to others.
4. I thank my body for taking such good care of me today. It is perfect and takes such good care of me.
5. My body is a gift and I love and appreciate it just the way it is.

How do you practice appreciating yourself?

xo,

Hil