Airports, frustration and a pig’s-head (fitness ties in here I swear!)


In my opinion, traveling by plane is the ultimate modern luxury. As Louis C.K. says, and I’m paraphrasing, “It used to take people 30 years to get from NY to California. They travelled by horse and buggy, they’d get dysentary. It would be a whole new group of people when they got there! Nowadays I watch a movie, take a dump and I’m there.” That pretty much sums it up, basically if you’re complaining about flying for ANY reason, you’re an asshole. That being said, and as much as I agree with Louis, I take full responsibility for being an asshole. I try my hardest to have patience and gratitude for the fact that I can fly somewhere in a fraction of the time it would take to drive, boat or take a horse and buggy, but there’s usually some point in my journey that I get frustrated and impatient with the process.

Patience, something I have very little of, is key to getting through airports without having a complete melt down. Especially when you’re in back of the people in the security line who have no idea what they’re doing, as if they haven’t been privy to any of the constant security changes that have occurred since 9/11. Or worse, someone who’s unaware of that the fact that they cannot bring a suitcase full of vegetation and a pig’s-head back to the States from Ecuador, per my husband’s experience.

A good way to spend your time in line at the airport, or anywhere for that matter, is to get a little exercise. I know most of you think this is a stupid idea and many of you will be too embarrassed to partake in this activity, but most people also don’t have a six pack and killer glutes, am I right? Point being that people with a great physique are willing to try things that they are not necessarily comfortable with because the result is worth it. Besides, my New Years resolution is to give “zero fucks” about what the average person thinks of me, so why not do lunges through the airport?

Here’s some ideas for discrete-ish exercises you can do.

1. Calf extensions.
2. Squats.
3. Single leg push backs.
4. Single leg side raises.
5. Stretches.


1. Bicep curls with your carry on, if weight prohibits.

2. Tricep dips using your seat at the gate for support.

Any other ideas??

Thanks for reading!!



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