I was feeling totally out of control tonight, like nothing was going my way and like nothing has been for a while. There are times that I get caught up in all the negative things and think I’m a living example of Murphy’s law, “If anything can go wrong, it will”. Which is totally ridiculous with all of the blessings that I have in my life, but it’s so hard to get out of this mode when I’m caught up in negative thoughts and thinking things like “why won’t anything go right for me?!” “Can’t I get a freaking break?!” and “why does everyone else have it easier than I do?!” I know all of these thoughts are crazy, I just can’t help but feel this way sometimes.
I got fed up tonight and had to go talk to a friend. I got in my car turned on the radio and what was on, none only then my favorite singer of all time, Frank Sinatra. Things are looking up. How often do you hear Frank on the radio these days? And it was “Evenings with Sinatra” so it’s nothing but him for 2 hours! I wanted to just keep driving around and listening but didn’t want to deviate from the plan.
I get to my friend’s house, walk in and immediately start complaining. This went wrong, that went wrong, I did this to try to fix it and then that happened etc etc etc… then I realized, “wait a minute…this is me trying to control EVERYTHING, which is exactly the problem. I need to let go.”
All it takes is some small thing, like Sinatra on the radio, to remind me that there is someone out there looking out for me letting me know that it’s all going to be alright, even if I’m not always in control. After all, that’s life! 🙂